Peace and Chaos

I sit in the middle of my bedroom that looks as chaotic as life feels....after a full weekend, everything.....is everywhere!  I turn on my music and let the words and music sink in....and heal!

 

Sitting and talking this weekend with dear friends was exactly what I needed. Listening, talking and having them speak into my life.

One friend talks about the struggles of life....what feels like the endless struggles! And I think to myself, Does it ever end? If it's not one thing it's another, sometimes there's barely enough time to catch your breath! I sit there emotionally exhausted nodding in agreement! But she continues, and shares how she had been reminded that Sunday morning, that if there's no struggle, then the life inside is dead. With every new bump in the road, the struggle doesn't necessarily get easier...but maybe accepting it does. Maybe even....being grateful for the struggle. Because those battles are what have made me, and in some way or another prepared me for the next thing I encountered! Can I sit here and bless Him, for what He's doing? Can I sit here and say it is good, and I'm grateful for what You're doing...when I don't understand. When something inside me hurts because I'm only beginning to realize that a door has firmly shut, and I want to push my way through it! When I'm missing the life that I had, and experiencing culture shock in the culture I've grown up in.

It's hard to have closure when you never really said a final goodbye! It's hard when Princess doesn't understand where you are. "Is Sarah eating breakfast with us this morning? Is she at market? When is she coming back?" It's hard thinking about not getting to listen to Bob read his first story. He was just starting to sound out words, and it was exciting seeing things connect, and his little face light up when he realized, Hey I just read a word! And Jack and his stories, about animals, and funny things that he did and built in Pennsylvania and Indiana. I never got to say goodbye to the people who owned the different stands at market. Like the lady that always greeted me with, "Shalom! Ma shlomech?!" (Hello! How are you?!")  to which I would reply, "Tov! Toda!" (Good! Thanks!). All the smells, the cramped aisles, and the dear old men that would try and push their way through the crowd saying, "Sliha, sliha, sliha!" (Excuse me or Sorry). The joy of being able to understand how to pay for something without having to use any English, and understanding Hebrew numbers! The tropical fruit, and learning to cook and eat with more fresh things, and not using processed foods out of cans! My entire view of food was challenged, stretched, and changed! My skill and creativity were put to the test in the kitchen, and I was able to gain a wealth of knowledge from the experience! When my normal was turned upside down on the other side of the world, and everything familiar was stripped away, I was able to more clearly see what my priorities were, and what I clung to for stability. When the normal is stripped, you see who you really are, what you place your identity in, what you fill your time with.....who you really are, not who you thought you were, or who other people think you are, but who your true self is. And it's rarely pretty!

I can hardly wrap my mind around the past three months that just happened! I was given such a gift that I will forever be grateful for!
I will no longer be updating this blog.
But please don't forget those still in the Middle East. They need your support and encouragement! We were not created to do life alone. No one is an island. We need each other. Especially when oceans and cultures separate!
 

Change is Inevitable

Change...you can't avoid it. Things are always changing. Life is always changing.
 Over a week ago I experienced change. I traded the life in Jerusalem full of sunshine, clear skies, mango's and figs, for the cloudy fall days of Pennsylvania, where apples, and pumpkin spice season is in full swing! I stepped into a different world when I stepped off that plane.  A world that is so familiar, and feels like 'home' but is so different then what 'home' has been the last couple months. Familiar....but soo different! Change.
Change can at times be really hard to process, especially when its unexpected, and your whole mindset needs to be readjusted.
Last summer after what felt like a string of change happened Dad asked how I was doing.
"Okay! The only thing that is certain in life....besides God, is that nothing is certain!" I stated with a smile.
*Sigh* " Life is a crazy ride...hang on its gonna be good!"
And with that we smiled, and life kept right on moving!
In the months following that conversation, life was a crazy ride. And that crazy ride...hasn't changed!


A week ago with suitcase sprawled out over my bed, I contemplated what the next few months would hold. The last week has been nothing like what I had anticipated or planned. At times I've felt soo torn I just wanted someone to PLEASE TELL ME WHAT TO DO, and put me out of my misery!
For those of you that were aware of my dilemma and were an encouragement and a listening ear....Thank you! Your time that you took to listen has meant the world to me!

So as of this afternoon, I will not be going back to Israel....at least not in the next year :)!
This decision has nothing to do with any of my Israel family! They have been a huge blessing in my life and I have learned so much from them. And I know that I will greatly miss interacting and being a 'family' with them! All that I will say on this blog is that after some events, and a lot of time talking with my parents and time spent in prayer, I do not have peace about returning to the Middle East. If you would like more details or want to know how I came to that decision I would be glad to answer your questions in person. But I don't feel that a detailed explanation is necessary on here.
Writing this out feels so weird! I feel like I have been given a huge gift and opportunity that has been cut short! I do not regret any of the experiences I had, or things that I learned while in Israel. I will forever be grateful for the gift and opportunity that was placed in my lap!

Thanks again for the overwhelming encouragement and support that I have received!!!

This song has been running through my head the last couple days, as I process, and come to grips with the change around me!


You brought me this far so why would I question You now
You have provided so why would I start to doubt
I've never been stranded, abandoned or left here to fight alone
So I'm giving You control

I lift my life, lift my life up
I give it all in surrender
I lift my heart, lift my heart up
You can have it forever
All my dreams, all my plans
Lord I leave it in Your hands
I lift my life, lift my life up

Have Your way in me
Have Your way in me

If peace is a river then let it sweep over me
If I'm under fire I know it's refining me
When I hear You calling out I follow now wherever the road may go
I know You're leading me home
~ Unspoken 

Shabbat

(Shabbat is from sun down Friday to sun down Saturday evening)


Big puffy clouds roll lazily over the sun shading the city from its constant, direct rays. The break from intense heat adds to the relaxing feeling of the day. The sky over Israel is fairly easy to predict: Sunny, clear skies. Every now and then you get some puffy clouds, but for the most part...sunny and big blue, open skies.
It's Shabbat (Saturday). This day is one day out of the week that you live in another world...but just for a day. Shabbat...a day of rest. A day when the world stops, or at least it seems to. Saturday is the one day you forget your living in the middle of Jerusalem. Its the one day that you wake up hearing birds singing, and not cars headed to work. It's the one day that, if you run out of milk, your only option is the neighbors because you will not find a grocery store open. When I say things are shut down...I mean pretty much everything is shut down. (I personally think Lancaster County could learn a thing or two from the way Shabbat is done in Jerusalem) It's the one day you can sleep in and not feel guilty about it. The streets are for the most part silent. Occasionally you hear a car pass, but that is rare. And the sirens (whether police or ambulance)...they are silent! And. its. quiet. everywhere!
Shabbat is an oasis of quiet.
I wish I could transport you all here...just for Saturday so you could fully experience and soak up the amazingness of such a day!

 



 

(And since no blog post is complete without pictures...here's a few random ones for you to enjoy)

An attempt at drawing figs

 

 "Here Princess...let me show you how it's done!" ~Bob

P.S. Due to a crazy schedule, and many changes in location throughout the next little bit, blogging will be taking a break. Hoping to be back at blogging by mid-October....hopfully :)!
Enjoy the rest of your September...it's gonna be over far too soon!

Bethlehem

Well, I am a little behind in my posting. Last Friday (August 29) we had the opportunity to get out of Jerusalem. I'm not planning on writing a lot so here's a bunch of pictures with a few comments!

We rented a van for the day which was so nice to have!

 

First stop: Solomon's Pools! Three big pools that Solomon would have built to hold water.

 



Someone was enjoying being out in the middle of nowhere...and decided to take advantage of the opportunity :)!

 

 

This was a monastery that we stopped at just down the valley from the pools. Its in memory of Song of Solomon.

 

The wall that separates the West Bank from Israel.

(This is from the West Bank side)

 

 

THE PLACE where Christ was born. Amos told me I should at least bend down and touch it if I'm not going to kiss it. So I bent down and touched it, and wished I hadn't. After we climbed up the stairs out of the 'cellar' he asked what I thought of it. I must have made an awful face, cause he just laughed at me and said, "Sarah! You need to get in touch with your Catholic side!"

"No! That's just weird!"

 

So it wasn't really Starbucks, but it was still good coffee! We all got Shwarma and Falafal before continuing on.

At the Shepherds Fields we were able to walk through a cave, which was a cool experience. I think Jack enjoyed it the most!

 

Jack was disappointed with this picture that I took cause, "You can't see how high up I am, you should have gotten the floor on." So for the record, he's up high. He had to be lifted up into that little nook.

 

Now this was cool! You can see Bethlehem in the distance, the fields in the valley are known as Boaz's fields, to the right of were we were standing was some of the threshing floors that Boaz would have used...possibly the place that the scene in Ruth between Boaz and Ruth could have played out.

 

The Herodiom. Another one of Herods projects. He wanted to be able to see the Temple Mount from the top. So he took the top of the mountain on the left and moved it to the right. He also built a palace and had a big tower on top that he could look out and see Jerusalem from.

 

The last time I checked my passport says I'm a citizen of the United States of America....so we weren't breaking any laws when we entered section 'A' :)!

 

Some security was positioned sporadically through out West Bank, mostly in Section 'A'.

 

The Valley of Elah where David killed Goliath.

Reading the account and looking down at the place that it happened...imaginations working. It really gave life to the story, and was very interesting!

 

A vineyard we stopped at toward the end of our journey.

 

So back in the time of Jesus there was a law that if you were a stranger you could stop at a garden, orchard, ect. and pick produce to eat. You didn't need to ask, or pay for it. You were allowed to help yourself, but you could not 'fill your basket' and take some home. That is still a law in Israel today. So we stopped and helped ourselves to a mid afternoon snack!

Dome of the Rock

Sunday (24th) was the beginning of not only the week, but also the beginning of a forecasted heat wave. So we decided that it would probably be better to meet earlier rather then later. Walking to Jaffa Gate I could tell it was going to be a very warm day!

 

Different times I've had people ask me what its like going around and seeing these different sights where so much history happened. "Do you get goose bumps? A cool sensation or feeling? Maybe your just so overwhelmed you just need to sit down and take it all in quietly by yourself? Maybe it even moves you to tears?!"

To which I respond "Nope! No way, not at all! Zilch!"

Western Wall was a definitely a cultural experience, but didn't do anything for me. Glad I went and saw it, but if I made a pilgrimage to Israel simply to pray at the Western Wall, I think I would have wasted a whole lot of money!

*Warning!* Skeptical side coming out in the following paragraphs!

The Church of the Holy Sepulcher...again glad I went just so I can say I was there. But I left there weirded out! It was full of Catholics kneeling down, laying things on the stone that "Jesus was laid on as his body was prepared for burial", and kissing it. The Church was dark, incense was burning, and the walls were covered with gaudy pictures of Jesus, Mary, and other saints! I just wanted to leave, and get out of their as fast as I could! I can buy someone saying, "This is most likely where such and such happened." But to say so many hundred years after the fact someone thought this was the place, and then built a church over it, and today people come and worship objects in this church. Please! Sell it somewhere else! The guys think I need to get in touch with my Catholic side. At this rate, I don't think that's happening anytime soon.

So all that to say, I think my Dome of the Rock experience was the most meaningful to date. Just because for once there wasn't a doubt in my mind. This was were the Temple used to be, although destroyed twice and now replaced by the Dome...this is still the place! This is the place were so much history has happened and will happen.



 

After going through security and walking past literally dozens of police waiting and ready to close the place down if anything got out of hand, we arrived on the Temple Mount. We were immediately pointed at and told to "go down there" so we could get a scarf since we weren't properly clothed. So we walked down to a guy that threw a plastic scarf at us and said it would cost us 25 NIS. "TWENTY FIVE SHEKELS!!!!" DeLora and I could hardly keep our jaws from hitting the ground. But I forced a smile, and unwrapped a scarf....that really didn't do too much, but whatever. The guys seemed to think it was hilarious!

(Photo credits go to Manu)

 

So here comes a bit of a history lesson. The first Temple was burned (2 Kings 25:8-9) after Nebuchadnezzar conquered Jerusalem in 587 BC (2 Kings 24:8-20).  The Israelites later returned to rebuild  the Temple. The second Temple lasted from 515 BC to 70 AD when the Romans conquered Jerusalem. The Muslim siege of Jerusalem took place in April 637 AD and the Dome was finished in 692 AD.

 



 

The Dome of the Rock is not a mosque but a ciborium erected over a sacred site. Although there is a mosque on the complex. According to Islamic tradition, Mohammed ascended to heaven after a miraculous night journey from Mecca to Jerusalem on a winged steed named al-Buraq. They say the rock inside the building is what Mohammed stood on before rising to heaven.

Jewish tradition teaches the rock was were Abraham offered Isaac on Mount Moriah. As well as the location for the first and second Temple. And they are eagerly anticipating when they will build the third Temple. There is a group that is actively preparing for that day. Following the law they have garments for the High Priest, priests, and different pieces of furniture ready and waiting.

The significance of the site for Christians would obviously be the History of the Temple. Luke 2:41-49 says Jesus stayed at the Temple listening and asking questions after His parents had left Jerusalem after Passover. The Temple Mount is also the place that Jesus will return to someday.

 

 

Muslims can be very vocal. You always knew there was a Jew in the area by the cries of the Muslims yelling, "God is great!" in Arabic, and throwing their fists. It was actually kind of sad to hear and see the hate coming out. Small groups of 3-4 Jewish men walked around occasionally, always escorted by 3-4 police officers for safety.

 

 (Photo credits got to Manu)

 

 It was a good and eye opening experience, seeing a part of a culture that I have not been around much here.

One more thing crossed off my bucket list!

Silly Kids

 

 

So this post is not about the Dome of the Rock experience! (Sorry Dad) I will eventually get it done.

 

 

This post is where I tell funny things heard around the apartment said by three wittle kids!

 

First up....Princess!

 

Yesterday I was thick in the middle of school with the boys. Jack sitting at my desk, and Bob out on the balcony. Often Princess plays quietly by herself in the Living room/Kitchen area, because she knows that toys are not allowed in my room during school hours. In between subjects the boys often get a little break, before getting back at it. The boys had just finished a break and had their heads back in the books...when a little blond head peeked in my door.

"Sarah?" Princess said with an exhausted look on her face.

"Yes?"

"Can I take a break?"

"I guess so. Why don't you take a little break." I replied, trying to be serious and not laugh at her.

"Ok!" And she happily walked away with a smile on her face!

The little dear hears her brothers ask so often, she didn't want to be left out.

 

Bob just got through learning the Alphabet and the pictures that go with the letter. A a apple, B b ball, ect. So he was working on Y for Y y yarn. And he started talking about different words that start with different letters. Out of the blue he looks at me and says,

 "I have a friend from out at Indiana who's name starts with T t."

"Oh really?!" And inside I'm celebrating, Yes he's finally going to admit that Tori was his friend!

"Yeah, T for T, t, Tim! He was my friend from Indiana."

"What about Tori? Her name starts with T?"

"No, she's not my friend. And K for K, k, Keith. They were both my friends from Indiana."

"Am I your friend?"

"No, not from Indiana, your my friend from Israel."

 

Now every time we play the ABC Sound game, he always forgets that K is for Kite and T is for Tail. He seems to think that K is for Keith, and T is for Tim! I am determined to cement the right way in his brain!

 

 

Sand, Horsing Around, & Mail!

Tuesday was a different, fun sort of day! Close to friends there is a man made, big 'sand box' I guess you could call it. So after Wayne and Marie left for school with children dressed in swim wear, sunscreen in hand, and three little ducks in tow we started walking. I wasn't sure if Bob was going to make it! The sun was just starting to get really hot, and it was a good 35-40 min. walk. We finally arrived, and all memories of sore feet were forgotten as the boys ran across the sand to their friends.

Filled a tub with water so Princess could stay cool. She decided the best use of her water...was to scoop in more and more sand! Sounds like a great idea to me!

The boys had fun filling buckets, making dams and sloshing in the water.

At one point I watched as Jack and his friend went running, and dove hands first, sliding in the sand. Once they came to a complete stop I guess they didn't feel like they had gotten dirty enough...so they started rolling. Yeah! Picture sand EVERYWHERE!!! I just sat there and laughed thinking about how uncomfortable of a walk home that was going to be! Oh well, everyone will just need baths later!

Jack was giving piggy-back rides today!

 

 And I got a letter today!!! Less then a week after it was sent!!!

 

And no I don't have a clue what that says in Hebrew....the students didn't even have a clue. I think I'll need to check where the writer picked up the phrase and see how reliable their source is!